I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap and then you grow wings.
- William Sloane CoffinFor some time, a friend of mine has reminded me that God is pursuing me. He desires me to trust him 100% and he desires to have my heart. As a christian, a follower of Jesus, I think "He already has my heart. I trust him." But, at some point something happened to make me doubt...Life. It never goes just how we plan. And I hit some big bumps during and right out of college. And yeah, college was 6 years ago. But the problem is that I stopped trusting.
As a result, I was afraid of taking any risks. I think I've always taken some sort of risk - going skydiving for my 18th birthday and H.S. graduation, moving far away for college, flying on my own to foreign places, eating food I wasn't sure was legit, paragliding, etc.
Once I got back home it all stopped...and I became fearful. I was no longer doing anything that wasn't "safe." If I noticed something was just a tad bit off, I stepped away. My life was being sucked right out of me.
But in the last two years (and maybe even longer), I've had a mother load of people praying for me (it takes a village). God's faithfulness in pursuing me has been incredible! And even that is an understatement.
I'm thankful that I went to the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in August 2008. I'm thankful that my job search lasted over a year. I'm thankful that even when things don't make sense at all there is an affirmation of the spirit that lets you know you are doing the right thing - I resigned from a decent job without having secured a new one. I'm thankful that for five months, I had uninterrupted HOURS with my Bible. I'm thankful that I met the principal of my school so randomly and that she liked me enough to hire me mid-year. I'm thankful that my kids took well to me. I'm thankful that I made it through my first semester as a teacher successfully. I'm thankful that all of this has not been easy. I'm thankful that I have summer!
You have no idea what this means to me. And I have no idea how to let you know what this journey does to me! :o) I'm so happy! Like so happy that I feel it to my inner core.
I had dreams as a kid...and they grew as I did. The dream: To become a teacher. To help children who need it. To be a summer missionary. To meet missionaries and provide them fellowship and American goods they may be missing. To love recklessly.
As all of this is falling into place, I have to have some Kleenex's with me because I'm overwhelmed at how the desires of my heart are being answered.
So, I'm saying this to you - TRUST HIM! He's asking you to trust him...and when you take that step He will give you wings!
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." -Ecclesiastes 3:11
1 comment:
amen. and amen. i feel like that was my second sunday sermon :) good stuff mimi.
when i read the paragraph about not taking risks after you were home again and it feeling like the life was being sucked out of you i was wanting to shout 'i get it! i've totally been there!'
your story makes me remember that i can probably stop whining to the Lord and asking Him to do things my way, and instead just go ahead and trust that He can handle things all by Himself ;)
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